Kobe Bryant Puppet Finds LeBron James Puppet Dead
Posted by Nick Engvall | Jun 5, 2009
According to The Onion, LeBron James Puppet is dead.
“Upon returning to his apartment fresh off advancing to the NBA Finals, Kobe Bryant Puppet discovered his roommate and rival, Cleveland Cavaliers forward LeBron James Puppet, lying dead in their bathtub. Los Angeles police officials stated there was no evidence of foul play, as the deep lacerations on James’ felt wrists appeared to be self-inflicted. “I knew he was upset about losing to the [Orlando] Magic, but I never thought he would do something like this,” the shocked and fabric-based representation of Bryant told reporters, his facial expression stoic and his eyes unblinking. “Maybe I should have seen it coming. One minute LeBron was happy and covering the apartment with talcum powder, and the next he was playing video games and not wanting to be disturbed. Maybe it’s my fault for putting my championship rings on display in our apartment.” The puppet LeBron is the fifth roommate of either the puppet or real-life Bryant to commit suicide.”
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Jun 8, 2009 at 7:26 am
seriously? a cutter tho?i mean are they tryna call LeBron a wierd and depressed emo???? come on now. that took all comedic value from the commercial. why not accidently drown? i mean he is a puppet. wont be hard at all to do. they tryna play my big homie….
Jun 7, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Its just a dayum piece of cloth. But its a classic ad campaign that trancends beyond sports fans to the general public. I had a chance to go the Puppetry Arts Theatre here in Atlanta. They should come here to do a show or two.
Jun 6, 2009 at 9:44 pm
My sincerest condolences
Jun 6, 2009 at 8:20 pm
RIP Lebron Puppet..i remember the crab dribble dribble LOL
Jun 6, 2009 at 7:55 pm
R.I.P Lebron Puppet… Maybe you’re covering heaven with talcum powder now.
Jun 6, 2009 at 1:29 pm
we r guna misss yu LJ. all the way from sportscenter to lil dez n to the chalk screaming two three!! n postseason!! Chicken n Broccoli baby
Jun 6, 2009 at 11:27 am
if lebron had better teammates , maybe he wouldnt commited suicide
Jun 6, 2009 at 4:22 am
The officials need to look closely on Kobe’s whereabouts as he has the most to gain by killing LBJ. Obviously, Kobe has a superiority complex by leaving his rings on display and comparing them to CC cookies… I smell a rat!
Jun 6, 2009 at 12:22 am
Kobe is the best! Even lil Dez knew it!
Jun 6, 2009 at 12:21 am
r.i.p. LeBron puppet. You know wat they say, the good cotton die young!
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:54 pm
gone at such an early age, R.I.P Bron Bron….imma see you at those cotton filled pearly gates
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:03 pm
whoa..R.I.P LBJ…the second best player in the world…kobe wants his 4th ring ain no stoppin em dis year..not even shaq
Jun 5, 2009 at 10:31 pm
wow mad funny
Jun 5, 2009 at 6:52 pm
How could it be…somebody took 23 from me, my best friends gon…and i’m so, all alone….I REALLY MISS L.B.J, even tho he’s gon away, i know he’s in a better place, and he gonna get his ring one day
Jun 5, 2009 at 6:44 pm
R.I.P -LBJ Puppet
He was killin Kobe in the one on one game before they got the phone call from downstairs neighbor!
Jun 5, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Noo the dwight puppet beat the lebron puppet,then he left because because he’s a “winner”
Jun 5, 2009 at 5:33 pm
R.I.P LeBron James Puppet
Jun 5, 2009 at 4:19 pm
^ haha of course we know that its a joke. I have never heard of a puppet being able to take its own life…
Jun 5, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Okay nicekicks here’s one for the onion lies its an effin joke
Plain and simple IDIOTS!!!
Jun 5, 2009 at 3:12 pm
lol
Nike’ll bring’em back next year in the playoffs…
Jun 5, 2009 at 3:02 pm
lebron youv’e got over 30 triple doubles can i have one
Jun 5, 2009 at 2:36 pm
R.I.P. homie
Jun 5, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Good bye and Good Riddance. What ever happened to “real” funny puppets such as Lil Penny? Those commercials I actually enjoyed. These puppets ones are just blah. The chalk one was ok. The lil dez was just damn annoying and looped over and over with “Kobe” “Lebron”. The car one might have been funny if Kobe actually got ran over. I don’t know….the Lil Penny ones with a hilarious, well-recognized comedian (Chris Rock) smoke these newer commercials. These puppet ones are just dumb and are for kids.
Btw, Kobe ….. the best basketball player to have ever played the game. Sorry, Mike….it’s true.
Jun 5, 2009 at 2:25 pm
RIP Lebron James puppet
Jun 5, 2009 at 2:07 pm
RIP Lebron Puppet best commercial moment when Kobe and you took lil dez to the sneaker closet and he was in great shock had to pull his pump out… I need a basketball in my hands playoffs baby not no more for you go BLACK MAMBA
Jun 5, 2009 at 2:01 pm
It was suppose to be kobe vs lebron… but hey at leat we got 1 of em there… lebron ur puppet is gonna be around for a while..
Jun 5, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Meh. Dumb.
Jun 5, 2009 at 1:36 pm
even when the Lebron puppet dies it’s still funny
Jun 5, 2009 at 1:32 pm
I guess the real KING of the NBA is still playing…not Lebron but Kobe Bryant. I’m glad we won’t another commercial involving these two puppets.
Jun 5, 2009 at 1:23 pm
R.I.P. king james
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:59 pm
“Since the dawn of time, man has asked the question, what makes Kobe Bryant aka The Black Mamba so unstoppable? What makes his dunk so unstoppable? What makes his 3-Pointers so unstoppable? What makes his overall unstoppable-ness unstoppable? Is it possible to stop something that’s unstoppable? Is the answer to the question yet another question? We may never know. Yet in never knowing, the unknowable is unstoppable! This DVD was produced, directed, and edited and presented by Kobe Bryant aka The Black Mamba for LeBron.” (Fav commercial EVER!!!)
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:53 pm
hmmm, well, if i had a rag doll as my center, i would probably commit suicide as well. i mean, lebron had cognitive dissonance if he supported the rag doll’s hold out last summer. i mean, seriously. varejao got to hold out… i mean, for real? and then, the idiot gm picked up ben wallace! thats 2 varejao’s on the same team… that makes no sense to me. wallace got lucky becuase the lakers didnt take the pistons seriously in 2004 and lost. the pistons were never good. they got lucky. the east was horrible and the lakers thought they were kiddies. after that, for some reason, the pistons became conceited and thought they should win a championship every year, and got disappointed when it didnt happen. man, if they were not a victim of circumstances, then who is, lol. with that being said, actually, lebron james got the bad end of the pistons’ 2004 championship. think about it. pistons beat lakers 4 on 5 with an energy guy in wallace. he gets defensive player of the year and gets hyped. now, danny ferry wants him and thinks the cavs can play 4 on 5 too. wallace signs a nice contract, and joins the cavs. but wait, you already had varejao, there arent 3 other scoring threats on that team, maybe mo williams excpet the only way he got on the all star team was for 4 people to get injured and the whole city of cleveland to write letters to david stern, lol. so… in the end, its good that lebron killed himself. oh yeah, no one buys his “birthday” shoes. i used to have a store on ebay, right, and no one would buy his birthday shoes from me. in fact, i just bought the gold all star ivs from 2007 just a few months ago. thats crazy. a limited kobe shoe, no matter how low topped or stupid it is, would gone faster than you could say, dont have sex with a female in colorado if you play in the nba.
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Well i Guess He Wont Have A Problem With Me Borrowing One Of His Tripple Doubles.!!!! Lol (Lil Dez)
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:50 pm
NOT FUNNY. LONG LIVE THE KING!!!!!!!!! lol…
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:44 pm
RIP LBJ…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Bron will be back…but Kobe’s time is now!!!! we dont care who got next
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:30 pm
R.I.P TO LBJ THE BEST PLAYER EVER
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:30 pm
JBx23 that would be poppin’
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Suicide is no joke! However NIKE is winning with this “puppet” series. They should continue it and do it with other “nike employees”
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Exc!tement here…When i first seen the Chalk commercial I was crying with Laughter and to top it off U were my favorite to when the championships…Well now that U crushed my 1st dream I am also deeply saddened to hear this News…R.I.P.
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Crank Yankers ripoff
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Spot on. Time to quit it wit all the Kobe/Lebron hype. http://www.newsy.com/videos/the_match_up_that_wasn_t
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Don’t worried next year lebron will be revive from the grave.
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:08 pm
maaaaan
this is
reatarded!!
wat y’all gne do
nxt yr when he
come back???
hahahaaa
lmao
dorks!
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:07 pm
ay this is retarded
so wat y’all gne do when
he come back
again next yr??
hahahaha lmao
dorks!
Jun 5, 2009 at 12:05 pm
God bless the Onion… that’s just AWESOME.
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:55 am
LEBRON JAMES LEBRON JAMES 23 23 23 23 2 3 23 23 23 23 23 23
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:53 am
This is funny as hell.
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:45 am
$20 CHINESE FOOD, BEEF AND BROCCOLI !!!!!! LBJ R.I.P. BEST COMMERICALS EVER NEXT TO THE LEBRONS!!!!!!! I WANT TO WRITE IT, PRODUCE IT, DIRECT IT!!!!!!!!!! I DONT DO SLAM DUNK COMPEITIONS, WELL LEBRON WE WILL SEE YOU IN 2010 ALL THE ALL STAR BREAK!!!!!!!!
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:38 am
wow, kobe goes through roommates like he goes through hotel hostesse
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:37 am
TO SOON MAN, TO SOON…… SO WHO GETS THE SNEAKERS & STEREO
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:31 am
@ JBx23,
Lol,yes!!
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:31 am
man…this sux
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:30 am
Long live the king,eh?
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:30 am
What they need to do is introduce the MJ puppet as the lanlord!!
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:27 am
My condolences LBJ
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:26 am
Jason A. Jessogne
AKA SPINS
R.I.P King James
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:26 am
LMAO wtf? Idk buh R.I.P. Lebron doll we will neva forget yu nd promise to keep ya videos alive. Frm da chalk all da way to da sportscenter theme. PLAYOFFS BABY! WOO! I NEED A BASKETBALL IN MY HANDS! 23! TWO THREE!.. beauftiful moments lol.
Jun 5, 2009 at 11:25 am
Kurtis